I watch him eat, munching noisily and belching so loudly that our four months old baby who was fast asleep turned sideways.

I hate this man and everything about him, especially his accent.

I hate the way he brushes too, leaving splatters on his clothes and residues at the corners of his mouth.

I have always suppressed the urge to smack at his paunch or kill him even, but I knew my conscience won’t let me get him down.

He never loved me, and I never loved him too.

Our union was planned when I was away…

He was reluctant when father proposed the marriage but accepted immediately he saw me.

I knew why, I was young and beautiful and my chest was full.

Our first night was hell, he forced his way inside me and kept on cursing me for being lifeless all through the act.

What am I supposed to do with a man old enough to be my grandfather?

I was young and inexperienced.

The day I attempted to escape from his house, he did not beat me, no he did not…

But he flogged me mercilessly with a cable wire, inflicting marks on various parts of my body, I know  those marks will be everlasting.

That same day, I lost my pregnancy, our would be first child.

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I was not hurt at all because the thought of bearing his children was a nightmare to me, but when it continued repeating itself I felt the pain tore my heart into shreds.

I lost three of my babies, before Odinaka finally arrived.

He was healthy and full of life, my bundle of happiness.

Two full moons gone and yet I have not seen my flowers…

I rejected that idea of being pregnant again because Odinaka was  barely five months old.

I cried when I noticed Odinaka uneasiness especially when I fed him, it was a sign that I might be expecting another child.

I mustered courage and visited Agbomma, a mid wife who lives a stone throw away from our house.

She confirmed it with a look of disappointment and pity written all over her face.

As she lecture me on what to do, tears were streaming down my eyes. She consoled me and assured me that things will be fine.

I thanked her and left the compound, but I did not went  back to his house.

With Odinaka tied tightly to my back, I was determined to do that which I have always wanted to do.

I walked briskly past my father’s compound, but I did not stop. It was evening so I was grateful.

I continue walking with no destination in mind, but all I knew was that I am going to escape from the pains which I had endured for years.

That move was the beginning of my freedom…

That move was the beginning of our freedom…

Freedom from violence, freedom from betrayal

freedom from inhumane treatment and degradation.

My name is Aina.

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