Mmeso Inspires: After Night

I grew up in a family where there is no peace and happiness.  A home where there is hardly laughter.

And filiation is replaced with hatred, much animosity.

I have never seen Father raise his fist on mother, but his actions towards her is enough to tear your heart into debris. Tiny debris.

Whenever he speaks to her, it was as if he is chiding a naughty adolescent who had just spoilt a public property. As that has always been the case with Okwudiri, a scrawny boy, who lived a stone throw from our house.

Even with his tiny stature, he had been a thorn to the flesh of his parents and hardly cry no matter the kind of beatings he received. If he managed to cry, it was always that dry hoarse voice that remind me of sango the town crier. It scared me that there was never a drop of tears down his chin whenever he cries. Maybe it is true after all, that he was a cursed child.”

“If only you could give me a son, even a son like Okwudiri”, father would bark at mother. Most times, I wonder if he really meant what he said.

I dreaded the idea of having the likes of Okwudiri as my brother.

I grew up to detest father because he hated my mother so much, I cannot explain the reason why some men attach so much importance with the issue of having a male child as if female ones are not human beings. I knew that mother is slowly pinning away, a beautiful woman at her prime, but she had seen the dark side of life.

We are six girls and I was the oldest. She is heavy with another child. I watch her everyday muttering words of prayers that her unborn child will be a boy. I knew she harbors fear that the child might turn out to be a girl.

Father withdrew from training us in school after my sister was born. That day, mother had returned from the health center weeping profusely, she had a new baby which happened to be the youngest of us Nwa. Father made life terrible for us, even at fifteen I knew what it meant that life was harsh.

I left the house very early in the morning to the market where I help mother with her pepper business, must times I hawk bread or water in order to supplement mother’s meagre income

My education was totally forgotten, my dream of becoming a medical doctor, all cast to the mud.

My principal had permitted that I should continue my education even without paying my fees, but father had adamantly objected.  He even asked the man to steer clear his family

“Mr. principal or whatever you called yourself, this should be the first and last, you step your miserable feet into my compound because the next time, I am sorry I will chop them off, he had barked brandishing his machete to scare him away.  Mr. Brighton my school principal had only shook his head and left the compound, I was surprised he did not take to his heels as soon as he sighted of father’s machete.

We knew him as a “woman” back in school. However his concern towards my education matters a lot to me. I stood beside mother, shedding tears, I knew it was over, my dream of becoming a medical doctor.

I heard father talking to me. “Adanne… so you have grown wings, you asked a man to come and direct me on how to handle my home, see let me warn you, the next time I set my eyes on him in this compound, you will regret ever knowing me.

I kept quiet tears running down my chin. Then he turned to mother, “You see… these are the kind of daughters you raise… bunch of harlots. Take a look at Adanne inviting men to the house”.

“But papa…I did not invite him, I said, he advanced towards me with his machete, I run into the house.

“Nonsense… you see, he had continued, pray that this child in your womb turn out to be a boy because this house will not contain us, useless woman, he shouted at mother and left the house.

Mother did not speak, I watch her, and she was obviously in pain. Her stomach looked so big, I overheard her telling father the night before that she will be due in few weeks’ time.

“Woman, stop disturbing my sleep, just pray that it is a boy he had said and sighed.

I wonder why Father treat mother with so much disdain because of male child, I felt so bad.

Two weeks later, my immediate younger sister Uche, came to the market shouting my name.”

“Adanne! Adanne!! Ada!!! I had just finished my second round of pure water sales and resting my nerves behind a kiosk. The day was unusually dull.

“Uche,I called back. I run to her, what is the problem?

“It’s Mother, she is having a prolonged and painful labour she replied. Her eyes were misty, from all indications, she had been crying.

“Please don’t cry Uche, mother will be fine.I tried to sound strong but I was weak, very weak.

When we entered into the room where mother lay… I noticed that there was unusual silence.

I looked at the midwives, there were three of them looking all perplexed, they snapped their face to avoid my gaze.

I looked at Mother, she was lying upward, and her face looked pale and whitish.  My heart sank.

There was this unusual rise of the tempo of her chest.

Nwa was lying sprawled on the floor, her face had on them dried tears. She must have cried herself to sleep. Nwa always sleep on the floor whenever she had cried for a very long time especially when mother is not around to console her, if she eventually woke up, she will demand for Pap.

I looked back to meet Uche’s inquisitive eyes, then I moved closer to mother.

“No my daughter, you can’t… one of the woman said moving closer to me.

The other followed suit to hold me back but I pushed them away and moved closer.

I felt her pulse, I touched her hand. Her hand was cold, then I noticed that there was no baby beside her. Where is the new baby? I thought.

“Nne… I called, Nne !!, I starting shaking her vigorously. The women rushed to me now, pulling me away. I screamed, Uche fell down on the floor, crying. Nwa woke up.

The memories of the night before flooded my mind and I quivered.

It was a cold night, I was in the kitchen cooking with Mother, and all my sisters were asleep except Nwa who was all over mother, playing with her cloth.

“Nwa go and sleep, I teased.  “It is night already”.

“No Ada, No Ada” Nwa said in a sing-song voice, laughing boisterously. She buried her face into mother’s lap. Earlier in the day, Uche had plaited her (Nwa) thick black hair into neat tiny cornrows giving her the prettiest look.

Nnenne promised to tell me story of the greedy tortoise and the foolish goat she replied, Nnenne is that not true? She asked mother tugging at her shirt.

Mother nodded and she looked at me, nodding happily and chewing at a very big chunk of fish Mother has given to her. Even at two, Nwa speaks so intelligently.

“Nnenne” is a special name she always call mother, where she learnt it from was not what we could tell.

I stare at the pot of soup on fire, the usual watery okro soup, but Mother had added a lot of fish and meat. This has never happened before. It was always that dry soup. I had worried that mother had wasted much buying them, but she had assured me that everything was fine.

“Ada m…, mother had called me. I looked up to meet her gaze.

I can see her face through the dim candle light, a pretty face suppressed with pain. I looked at the woman that birthed me, I knew she was tired.

“Ada m… she called again, her voice quivering.”

“Nne… I answered, I noticed she was weeping.

I glanced at Nwa sleeping comfortably in mother’s arm. She was clutching tightly to her fish.

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“Ada m”, I am really sorry, that I brought you and your younger sisters into this world to suffer with me. My world has been filled with pain. Amobi your father had made my life miserable, I cannot explain why he is treating me so badly, is it because I am orphan and have no one to speak for me. ? She broke down crying.

He promised to make my world a paradise, Tell me Ada, is this the paradise? She asked.

I stood up and moved towards her, I circled my hand around her neck.

“We love you so much, Nne. It was never your fault you married a man with the heart of a beast, we will make you a proud mother I answered.

“Ada m, I am weak, I can’t bear it any longer, and this is my fifteen years of marriage. No happiness, No Joy, promise me you will take care of your sisters if I am no more.

Startled, I released my hold on mother.

“Nne, what did you mean”, you are just getting me scared, I said amidst sobs. I noticed she was trembling.

“Ada m, my strength had failed me…”

Nwa stretched herself.

Nnenne! Nwa called opening her eyes. Are you crying? She asked touching mother’s cheeks.

I wonder why Nwa act so matured even at her age.

“No, Nwa m, mother replied quickly wiping her tears.

“Nnenne are you hungry, she asked.

No Nwa m, Mother answered, “see I overate she said forcing a smile and pointing at her protuberant stomach.

She nodded and continue her sleep but stood up after some seconds, she put her fish into mother’s mouth. “Chew Nnenne… she said.

If you eat well, you will grow tall she said mimicking mother’s usual word whenever she (Nwa) refused to eat her food.

Mother smiled and chewed the fish and Nwa went back to sleep.

Ada… Mother called, but I had left her, I was outside the kitchen weeping.

I overheard her, clearly when she said” Accept my soul, O God”.

So Nne had envisaged her death, I wept bitterly.

It pained my soul, that I was not with her when she breathed her last, at least I would have plead and plead.

“Ada… Nwa called.  I turned to her, “Is Nnenne still sleeping? She asked moving closer to mother.

The mid wives held her back.

“We lost the baby too… one of the woman said, “a girl” the other revealed.

I turn around, Uche was huddled in a corner crying…I rushed out of the health center.

“Papa! Papa!! I screamed. When I entered into the compound, I saw Papa sitting comfortably drinking palm wine with his friend and a strange woman.

“You wicked man, good for nothing man, you have killed your wife, I shouted. My eyes were pouring down hot tears and my body was shaking… truly the beast in me is out.

“Go and eat her corpse, go and eat it. You should be ashamed of yourself, Good for nothing. You don’t deserve to be called a father, you murderer I screamed. Father must have been shocked, he opened his mouth to talk but kept quiet.  I just want to let you know that I will kill you the same way you killed my mother, I will make your life miserable I shouted.  People started trooping into our compound.

“Shut up, you little rat” his friend spoke up. “Children of nowadays eeh”, how can you speak to your father in such a manner?

You better mind your business, you old man, I replied.

I turned to the people that gathered, verily I am being controlled by a force beyond my control

“See this devil in human form, I said pointing at father…” who has no dignity for human life. Can you ask him what he is doing here why his wife is in the hospital, lying lifeless?

People shouted and snap their fingers, some women moved close to me and started to calm me down.

“Please my daughter it is okay….they pleaded.

Father quietly enter into the house, he came out with his machete and in a twinkle of eye, and everybody vacate our compound.

“Today you ceased being my daughter, he said. Go into the house and park your properties and leave my house, go the house of the man giving you this new guts.

“You ceased being my father a very long time…, I will leave but I will come back for you.

Few months later, I packed all my properties and left the house. My sisters were all crying, they asked me to beg father but I refused.

My mind is made up, father won’t compromise either. He only permitted me to stay for mother’s burial because it was the custom.

“Take me with you Ada, Nwa had cried.

I looked at Nwa, I felt pity for her. I took her into my arms. “I will come back soon”, I told her. She looked at me Innocently, I feel guilty because I knew I won’t be coming back anytime soon.

“Ada, is Nnenne coming back with you…she asked, tears dripping down her chin.

“Yes, I answered as tears filled my eyes, she nodded and quickly wiped her tears.

It has not been easy for us after the death of mother especially Nwa. Most times she will stand at the entrance of the house, waiting patiently for Mother to return from market or wherever she must have gone to.  She always cried herself to sleep after waiting in futility.

I always cried bitterly whenever she moved around the house looking for mother.

“Nnenne! Nnenne!! She would call, then she would   burst into tears, because Mother is not answering.

I would always carry her and console her until she fell asleep.

“Nnenne is in heaven, Nwa I would always say, pointing upwards.

She will look at me with tear filled eyes and nodded, sometimes she would ask me.

“Is she coming back tomorrow, Ada?

“Yes I would answered.

I hugged all my sisters, they were all crying.

I gave Uche, my immediate younger sister some money which I had saved.

“Uche please take care of them, I pleaded.

I gave Nwa, some money to buy buns, she was very happy.

“Ada… tell Mma, to stop disobeying me Uche had complained.

I turned to Mma, she is my third sister and the immediate to Uche.

She was crying, she went and hugged Uche. It was settled. I was surprised because the two were cat and dog. I got it now, they are getting wiser, and we need to be.

I carried my bag, I promised to come back for them. I admonished them to maintain their virtue, after staying and speaking with them for a while, I left.

At the gate, I turned back to look at them, they were all crying and waving at me. I waved back, tears dripping down my chin, but I have no other choice.

Outside the house, I met Okwudiri, the naughty boy.

Surprisingly, he did not have that mischievous look in his face, he was looking sober.

He waved at me, I waved back and continue my journey.

I have no idea where I was going but I need to go, father said I should leave his house for disrespecting him, but in reality, I was actually leaving the house to make life better for my sisters and I and that was what really matter to me.

He was still busy with his preparations of getting a new wife that he had no time for us.

Across the road, I heard a woman’s shrill voice. She was singing a native song to welcome the arrival of a new baby. I smiled.  The day I left the house happened to be my sixteenth birthday, I looked up and ask God to direct my steps. I always felt the presence of Mother around me, I knew she is around to protect me from harm. That is my belief.

The song continued… I remembered Mr. Brighton my School principal usual prayer during his student’s birthday. “Long life, prosperity, endless blessings… he will keep on listing good wishes. I smiled and muttered those prayers. I knew I will be successful, there are signs. Truly, I was right.

THE REST OF MY STORY CONTINUES…

Like I said earlier, God was on my side. I met a God sent, Mrs. Ezigbo, a rich childless widow. She happily opened her arms and welcome me into her house after hearing my stories. I completed my secondary education and gained admission into the university to study medicine, gradually my dream is becoming a reality.

In my fourth year in the university I attended my friend’s birthday and met Franklin, a senator’s son. He asked me to give him a chance in my life, I refused.

The next day, he came to the house to meet my new mother “Mrs. Ezigbo”, he professed his love for me and his intentions towards me. He want me to marry him. An agreement was reached between us after his persistence and I never regretted it.

Franklin, showered me with love, the kind no one had ever given me except my late mother. Truly, I never knew that some men are close to being perfect.

He followed me to the village to see my sisters a year after we met, I was happy with what I saw. Uche never let me down. She was all taking care of them. She even enrolled Nwa in school. Father was surprised when he saw the big car parked outside. I ignored him even though my fiancé Franklin suggested otherwise.

“My love, he is still your father he had told me…”

“He is not, please I don’t want us to talk about this, I had pleaded.  He had let me be.

Few years later, I got married to Franklin and my story changed for good.

He asked that all my sisters come to the City.

Where he put them in a better position. He sent Nwa overseas for her college education.

This was too good to be true. He make sure we lack nothing and I am really grateful to God that he is my companion for life.

I never forget Mrs. Ezigbo, the woman who gave me hope and shelter, most time I wished mother was still alive to witness all these but my husband would always consoled me that wherever she is, she would be very happy to see that her all her girls were doing very well .

Most times, I travel down to the village to tend her grave. I later built a hospital in the memory of my late mother, the same year I gave birth to my twin boys.

I was adamant, I never forgive father. I allowed him to stew in his own juice. His new wife never bear a child but she dealt ruthlessly with him before she left. That serves him right.

Before his death, he requested to see us, I objected, but my husband persuaded me to go. I did. He asked us for forgiveness.

“Please forgive me my daughters, so that my soul can rest in peace, I am really sorry for treating you and your innocent mother who had loved me so much with disdain”.

The memories of yesteryears flooded my mind and tears filled my eyes.

“I will not forgive you father, you are a very wicked man, you treated mother so badly that she died, if you had treated her with so much love, she would still be alive. Please stop shedding your innocent tears” I replied. My sisters were all quiet but they were sobbing, silently.

I continued…”Man proposes but God disposes, even after the death of mother, you still made life miserable for us because we are girls, and you forget that after night comes dawn”

“Do you bear the male son? Tell me father, after all these did you still bear a male child?”

For the first time in my life, I saw him shedding tears like a baby, but I was not moved.  Mother’s  weak eyes, her silence filled with pain and anguish, her pale and whitish face lying lifelessly in the hospital, her tattered cloth and tangled hair all came to  me now, even after these years. I wept bitterly.

“Let’s get out of this place”, I told my sisters. They all stood up and followed me outside.

Two days later, father joined his ancestors.

A STORY WRITTEN

                  BY

MMESOINSPIRES