FAMILY AND EDUCATION

Unloading Mental Load Pathway To Healthy Marital Partnership

Marital partnership is one of the essential elements of healthy marriage. Unloading mental load for couples so that they can feel more relaxed co-manage their family and get actively involved especially in the day-to-day upbringing of their children. Sometimes they need this relieve from their partners but they lack the right language or even don’t know how to go about unloading this mental load, this is because they are scared of what everyone will make of it, the pressure is already there disrupting healthy pathway to marital partnership, running a family; preparations, taking care of the children, settling of bills and all whatnot come from healthy partnership which both partners can come together and make a list of what they are expected to handle, without leaving it unprepared. One party may think that his sole duty is to pay all the bills while the other may settle with domestic arrangements.

It is about the level of engagement from both parties, how they handle their daily schedules. Most of the time, children crave for presence of their father but they could hardly get enough of that. Mothers cook, serve meals, prepare them for school, take care of their school work and sing lullaby to send them to sleep, when it becomes difficult to sleep. Children that enjoy the company of both parents through marital partnership tend to grow in different atmosphere. It is like a father missing his child graduation, because he thinks that, his wife is already after all he doesn’t necessarily needs to be there, once he has paid all the required payments.

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Environment may play bigger role in having a formidable marital partnership, people are raised differently and they tend to see life from that angle. What one person conceived to be responsibility, another may view it differently. Social expectations and pressure both from internal and external, in that space they learned what their responsibility is and isn’t. And it goes on like that, even partners with honest intentions to have strong marital bond will find it difficult to unload the mental load. This discussion can spark from little act of connection, the quietness of mind then comes; “we need to go to groceries store to stuck up”, “I’m taking the kids to school throughout this week”, “I have a day off this weekend do you mind a date with me?”, “I want to be part of preparing the list of what we need to buy, I don’t only want to give money alone”, it can continue, you just have to be self-aware.

It goes through the eyes of forming a teammate, jointly a hard task can be accomplished without much stress. Sometimes “how can I help” can bring a moment of clarity and relieve mental load. Getting involved with household work with little you can, don’t make you less of a man, you just need to put your ego aside, to improve your relationship,  may be you get to see life differently and better. Now, holidays are fast approaching, one of the best time of year, the mental preparation shouldn’t be pushed to one party, if both parties get ahead of the time, make a list together of the family needs, and the guests putting things in order to spark and create the ambience, at the end of the day, they get to realise how figuring it out together had made them a better couple, with that you unload mental load to have a health marital partnership.

Chukwuebuka Ogbu

Writer

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