FAMILY AND EDUCATION

Raising Boys To Be Good Men An Asset To The Society

The mainstream notion conceived of men, which is devoid of emotions and never show a weak side, this is as a result of pressure mounts on them by different factors; family, peer group, societal expectations and the idea that you take care of everyone as a man and not the other way round; showing masculinity and hiding vulnerability. Parents can achieve that by being an ideal role model for their children, it is a thought process that will require gradual integration before they can arrive at the desired destination. Raising boys to be good men, is an asset to the society, they don’t have to see life from the general perspective, and they can be different and promotes a healthy society.

This is dismantling burden and pressure occasioned on men thereby placing them on the same pedestrian with everyone else, they can live their lives with a fulfilling purpose without the external pressure. Society expects men to take the bullet and take the punches on the shin, they are rarely asked how they are doing or how they feel on a particular issue, because the general conception that they are built with resistance which absorbs emotions, empathy and vulnerability, it is dangerous path to tread especially when they are completely isolated from web of emotions and find everything wrong with seeking for help.

There is nothing wrong in showing masculinity, parents and guardians are at the pivot positions to school boys into becoming emotionally matured men who can handle and take responsibility of their actions. Words used at home are very important, words like “boys don’t cry”, “you’re a man” can have a far more negative impact on the boys while growing up, especially kids who get bullied by their classmates, when they are not able to stand for themselves and do away with the bullies, they might feel less of a man, since they are not allowed to cry, it becomes a long battle with everything they represent and stand for, also since they are taught to be strong all the time, they won’t open up to parents or guardians.

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Parents and guardians need to exhibit what they want their kids to be, so kids can see themselves through their parents and guardians. They need to be raised with so much love and care, it can be telling when boys see their mothers do all the cleaning, cook, wash dishes, do laundry, go through their school work and still put them to sleep all alone without help from the partner, it triggers thought provoking process for the boys that, this is what women are married for, and they will grow with that measure. But a bit of help from fathers can change the whole scenario, with that boys can learn to support, care and love properly without losing their masculinity, it is quite easy for single parent.

It is about dealing with failure in a healthy way, especially when kids are not doing well academically and they don’t get picked from sports competition, they might feel so enraged watching other boys win trophy and celebrated as school champs. The role of parents or guardians is to teach them that you can walk your way into that path, it requires an efforts for you to reach that level once they realize what they are expected do and navigate through, and it becomes another step into the right path, and it serves as a learning process for them.

Teenage boys can learn how to deal with rejections from ladies, or they think they don’t get enough compliments from ladies as to their physical attributes. Teenage boys don’t necessarily need to unleash verbal attacks when they face rejection from ladies. Parents and guardians need to spark that conversation with their teenage boys, they have to honour people’s opinions and have respect for that, a bit of that communication will direct them to that path where they will learn that things may take a different route even when they want it to take desired route.

Chukwuebuka Ogbu

Writer

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