He came again and again,
Until it became a ritual that I looked forward to,
It became a play that I was accustomed to,
And those times he couldn’t come,
I searched for him in the dirty neighbourhood where he lives,
Praying that I will see him to quench the taste,
The forbidden taste,
The cursed taste.
No one knows what I was passing through,
Aunty Tope was too blind to notice that I was limping,
Even three days after I was slaughtered on the abattoir of filthiness,
The guiltiness of my action was so glaring,
That I was scared people will find out,
Who cares even?
In a neighborhood where parent fight before the watchful eyes of their kids,
And uncles allowed only young girls into their stuffy room to watch blurry television,
Molesting them afterwards with a promise of agege bread,
Who cares even?
In a neighborhood where couples fight in the day and moan loudly during the night,
Even as they share their frowsty one room with their ten children,
Five which are grown-ups,
That is the environment I found my self after the separation of my parents and I was left under the care of Aunty Tope.
I never knew what I was doing,
But I knew it was not clean,
If Ayo did not come to me, I go to him,
It was like an addition. A deadly one.
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Until I fell sick.
When Aunty Tope noticed that I was pregnant,
She almost killed me.
Ayo warned me never to call him out or risk my life,
The threat was bloody,
Aunty Tope gave me an ultimatum to tell her who got me pregnant or leave her house.
It was a scary one.
So I left the house one early morning while she was laying with her lover,
And never returned.
I knew she regretted it afterwards.
As young as I was,
I started catering for myself,
It was the most difficult thing to do,
I beg for survival while sleeping under the bridge,
Then I lost the pregnancy after a gang rape.
I thought I will fizzle away,
I thought I will not be able to count the stars again,
I thought I will never be human again.
But I survived,
I was broken yet I healed,
I went far away where no one could find me,
Though I heard that Aunty Tope and my people were searching for me all over the place,
That serves them right,
I never intend going back to what break me in the first place,
My hopes were high,
I knew that I still have a chance to shine again,
Notwithstanding the pain that I have been through,
I will rise again like the phoenix.
