Couples who have been bonding very well all through their marriage and prior to that, may encounter challenges when they start having babies, this is not in any way to say that kids place a discord between their parents, but the responsibilities that come with keeping the situation sane, and constant communication and understanding will began to falter in this particular stage. It is a lot of self-processing thoughts to reach to this level, there are going to be sacrifices and adjustments to get everyone in the schedule, it is a big challenge to maintain the tempo and to keep everything in the right frame.
Couples who have been anticipating for kids will spark an outrage joy when ultrasound shows that they are having a baby. For them, it comes with lots of preparation to welcome the newest member of the family, technically it can go as far as boosting financial status to make sure things are in place before baby arrives. For most men, they tend to be more loving towards their wives especially when it is first pregnancy, it can also strengthen their relationship to keep it striving in good lane, in this situation they could easily avoid arguments and avoid any heated arguments, with that they protect the sanity of the marriage.
Things can drastically change in the early years of the kids, then comes early morning meals for kids to go to school, who takes them to school, who gets them after school and all whatnot. This can lead to division of labour in order to ascertain the easy running of the day-to-day affairs of the family. Major factor to take into notice is the nature of the job the partners do, if they are 9-5 employees or flexible entrepreneurs. If both are 9-5 workers, it will very difficult to come to conclusion on division of domestic duties, work will always come into the topic and whether they will be comfortable to get nanny for their kids, if they are flexible entrepreneurs it will more realistic than the former.
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Parenthood on a whole different level pose threat to marriage- the core elements which are very essential to spice up marriage like constant communication, intimacy and spending time together, which will be less likely after having kids, it will take couples extraordinary efforts to fuse out time to spend alone off their kids. Arrival of kids will always shatter the schedule for the couple, for most of their daily schedules their kids will definitely take up 50% of that, financial worry and to maintain peace around the home, especially not to quarrel or have heated arguments in front the kids.
These are likely challenges that will pose serious threat to beautiful relationship, there are always way forward to that, a lot of people before marriage are ignorant of the situation and the way it stands, they don’t anticipate or make plans for such moment, then when it starts happening it comes like a tsunami to them, they will be caught off balance, once a healthy and strong relationship will begin to tremble. It is not good for progressive growth of the marriage, it becomes a drawback to something they have envisaged to achieve together as a couple.
Constant communication and understanding are panacea to this problem, couples have to sit down before time to talk about plans when they began to have kids, and who takes care of this and this. It is a lot of going through changes in order to accommodate the situation, if they figure it out, they are less likely to falter in their romantic life when kids start coming. It is what they do for that particular years, when the kids become an adults and probably start a family, they will now lean back and have all time to themselves. Michelle Obama reflected on this, when she talked about her early years in marriage with President Obama, how difficult it was especially when the kids were younger she described them “little terrorists”. If everyone is integrated into the schedule it will promote sanity around the marriage.
