Relationships lately have taken a different path, it has become abusive, controlling, causing mental distress and all whatnot, yet the question remains who are the right people to talk teens out of abusive relationships? Parents? Guardians? Elderly people? It can be all of the above but the fact remain that it is a collective efforts in achieving healthy society. Family upbringing is very important, upholding good morals and ethics. Abusive relationships have become rife in the society. Recently in Nigeria, there are two separate incidents where different men murdered their girlfriends, and the ugly situations keep on reeling their nasty heads and adding numbers to their victims.
The aftermath of abusive relationships has mental and physical damage; someone who is constantly abused because of their size and someone who experience physical attacks, these type of damage has short and long term lasting effects on the partner the abuse is melted on. Teens who are naive about how relationships work mostly fall in the hands of these abusers, that’s why parents and families should do a great work in starting sex education conversations early enough so that by the time their teenage children start talking about relationships, they must have gained enough ground and know what they are expected to do and how they are expected to behave in relationships.
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Teens who missed on this important family conversation think that aggressive behaviour from their partner can be condoned or think it is within their partner’s right to act angrily at their wish. Parents at times become too shy to start sex education conversation, the more the conversation is delayed, the likelihood of their teen children falling into abusive relationships. Parents should check on their teen children and create environment for open conversations, where they pour their hearts out and feel heard. When the abusers get into their lives, the first thing they do is to try to cut them out from their family and friends, and demand undivided attention, which may appear to be love, but that’s when they start to assert their controlling tendency.
They become controlling to the point they completely isolate their victims from their loved ones, this is because at that point he perceived them to be threat. To the point that abusers began to think that it is love. They demand their whereabouts, and seek to know every single place they are going. They make uncultured demands like sharing nudes and demands for sex in most unnatural way, for them sex doesn’t have to be consensual it is enough for them once they are in the mood, they misled their victim into believing that they are having protected sex. Which often come with unwanted pregnancy forcing their victim to abort or they end the relationship. It is a big mental and psychological torture to allow your teen children to go through this phase unprepared.
Abusers do not know how to handle rejection or take no for an answer, they feel almost all the time apprehensive and aggressive. Parents should teach their teen children how to create healthy boundaries, and teach them confidence, that’s how you boldly assert yourself and open up when they feel that they are not being heard in their relationships. Healthy boundaries that encourage partners to pursue their goals in life and try out new skill they feel passionate about. And should not be in a relationship that undermine their personal and professional growth, and show commitment towards achieving common goals. Parents should thrive to have a relationship worthy of their children to emulate.
